Home is Wherever

I finally feel at home in Denton. If it wasn't so fucking expensive to eat, I would feel at home AND not hungry. I only eat one meal a day to save, but when that meal is four cheeseburgers, nuggets, fries, and three feed, I'm not really sure I saved anything. In fact, I think I spent a little more than I would have. Whatever. I'm sick of the cold hearts. I know I'm one to talk, but seriously. Oh well. Met some new people, Ashley forces me to. She also forces me to take all of her trash because she's too lazy to get her own tray, but that's separate. She's become pretty cool, I guess. She's sorta the closest thing I have to a friend up here on weekends, but, whatever. I designed cars all day, only leaving my room once (and barely even dressed) to go to McDoland's. Not important. Neither is the cars thing. I don't know why I've been doing that. So lame, when you think about it.

Emotionally, other people kind of annoy me right now. There are those who are over-aggressive, never listening and always mentioning things that kill the conversation, so they can start a new one wherever it is they so please. Then, there are the "semi's." People who are almost as non-committal as I tend to be. I mean, if I want something, I want it. And if I don't know, then it's totally up in the air. But these people are those that act like they want something desperately, and then do everything to deny themselves it. I'm sorry, I'm sure this is extremely confusing. And of course, there are the people who live far away. These are the hardest, because they are the ones with real problems who I really care about, but I can't do anything about it.

Final point: Life's a bitch, and then you die. I'm not completely positive about that, but it seems like a sure bet. I know for certain that for people born in the 19th century, there's almost a 100% mortality rate, although half of the people who have ever been alive are alive today. Mind blowing. Wow, can anyone say off topic?

I don't know what I want. There are so many things to do, but so little that can be done. What happened to how we used to talk? I wish I could do something to help any one of three or four people, but I am totally useless.

I am rambling randomly, so this is as good a place as anything for my 'aha' moment. The song 'O Valencia' by the Decemberists has been stuck in my head recently, I really like some of the lyrics. After mentally reciting them, I realized it's Romeo and Juliet. How odd not to have realized that before. Whatever. Also stuck in the head right now, Lessons Learned by Matt & Kim, Out of Gas, and Missed the Boat by Modest Mouse. I do not know why this is relevant, but again, shouldn't I be used to this? I dunno. Not physically writing anything in my journal is hurting my coherence. Fuck it. I'm done for the night. I hope tomorrow is great, but I set no expectations. (Nec Spe, Nec Metu and all, y'know?)