Hmm. I don't really know how to organize everything I'm thinking. It's not all coherent. It doesn't all flow. Oh well, I guess we'll just see how it turns out.
Let's say there are two girls. Well, there are, but it's much simpler to think of it as only two for now. One of the girls has held me, and kissed me, and given me almost everything I've wanted, and promised me that there are so many who are just like her. But I don't want her at all. Then the other girl, who I have wanted before, generally couldn't care less. Why is it that it seems to be stuck this way? For the sake of simplification, I've got one who wants me, and one who I want. Why can't they be the same person? Ha. Oh well. Anyways, the real story is a lot more complicated than that. I have no idea where anything stands, and coming to terms with feelings is something I don't do very well. I'm not trying to be mean, but I probably don't know what I really think of you for a very long time. But there are plenty of people who I know exactly how I feel about right off-the-bat. These are the people I dislike. Very rarely am I wrong in making this kind of judgment. Out of ten people I meet, I'd be lucky to talk to just one of them. I don't like people. I don't know why. Out of those same ten people, I probably would dislike close to half of them, for whatever reasons, immediately. Usually, I am absolutely right in their flaws. Granted, the flaws are what makes something beautiful, but there is a point where it's just too much. Basically what I'm trying to say through this is that I am never wrong about people, because I simply don't allow enough people to get close to me for them to really hurt me.
I was wrong, though. I don't know why, but for whatever reason, I didn't really think one time, and I could not have been more off on deciding who it was who got the chance. Plus, I've been thinking about this all wrong anyways. It's who gets the chance, not who gives me a chance. It's not my loss. There are 200,000 people born everyday, after all. One of them is better than you. It's a statistical fact. I feel like I'm wandering, and I kinda forgot where my train of thought was headed. Not an uncommon occurrence at all anymore these days, unfortunately. The point I guess I was getting to I already mentioned, somehow. Why can't the person we love and the person who loves us be the same person?
Granted (no idea how many times I've said 'granted' lately), there aren't just the two girls. There are plenty. And there are plenty of feelings all around. I don't know. I again seem to have forgotten what I was saying. "Words can never do my feelings justice," anyways.
For some reason, a list just came to mind. And if for nothing else but to remember it, I'm going to put it here.
Let's say there are two girls. Well, there are, but it's much simpler to think of it as only two for now. One of the girls has held me, and kissed me, and given me almost everything I've wanted, and promised me that there are so many who are just like her. But I don't want her at all. Then the other girl, who I have wanted before, generally couldn't care less. Why is it that it seems to be stuck this way? For the sake of simplification, I've got one who wants me, and one who I want. Why can't they be the same person? Ha. Oh well. Anyways, the real story is a lot more complicated than that. I have no idea where anything stands, and coming to terms with feelings is something I don't do very well. I'm not trying to be mean, but I probably don't know what I really think of you for a very long time. But there are plenty of people who I know exactly how I feel about right off-the-bat. These are the people I dislike. Very rarely am I wrong in making this kind of judgment. Out of ten people I meet, I'd be lucky to talk to just one of them. I don't like people. I don't know why. Out of those same ten people, I probably would dislike close to half of them, for whatever reasons, immediately. Usually, I am absolutely right in their flaws. Granted, the flaws are what makes something beautiful, but there is a point where it's just too much. Basically what I'm trying to say through this is that I am never wrong about people, because I simply don't allow enough people to get close to me for them to really hurt me.
I was wrong, though. I don't know why, but for whatever reason, I didn't really think one time, and I could not have been more off on deciding who it was who got the chance. Plus, I've been thinking about this all wrong anyways. It's who gets the chance, not who gives me a chance. It's not my loss. There are 200,000 people born everyday, after all. One of them is better than you. It's a statistical fact. I feel like I'm wandering, and I kinda forgot where my train of thought was headed. Not an uncommon occurrence at all anymore these days, unfortunately. The point I guess I was getting to I already mentioned, somehow. Why can't the person we love and the person who loves us be the same person?
Granted (no idea how many times I've said 'granted' lately), there aren't just the two girls. There are plenty. And there are plenty of feelings all around. I don't know. I again seem to have forgotten what I was saying. "Words can never do my feelings justice," anyways.
For some reason, a list just came to mind. And if for nothing else but to remember it, I'm going to put it here.
- Smoking is the most unattractive thing a girl can do. Hands down. Ugly.
- Despite what everyone of you say, I need it. It's not a want. Its need consumes me.
- ANGER
- I could use my new team, maybe it will help me. I have missed the camaraderie.
- I need a new iPod, because mine sucks.
- Most tattoos are absolutely ridiculously retarded.
- I promise I don't take you for granted (that's to a lot of people). You know that I don't, I suspect. It's just that, what you're trying to convince me of isn't real to me. It just doesn't exist. I am sorry for that.
- Things could be different, but I don't care. I was wrong.
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Thanks for clarifying that my tattoos aren't "completely ridiculous." Ha.
ReplyDeleteAnd, you are right. There aren't just two girls. There are plenty. You are young and attractive and smart...go get 'em, Cameron!