"Never believe in hope. Rely on it."
So, what's wrong with twice as many choices? That's four times as likely to fuck up. Let me get all crazy and confusing here for a second. One is tangible, but the other is only a hint and whisper. I'd rather take the hinted whisper, but that means sacrificing the tangible forever this time. But then right there I've just said that taking one would be settling, because I'd prefer the faint whisper. How bad would I feel if I gave up one and then lost the other? I'll tell you. I hate going 0 for 2. But that's what it sounds like. Again.
Anyways, sometimes life sucks. The memories are horrid now. Such shit. I can't think about anyone else, though. The closeness I felt, I can't imagine feeling it again. I look at a girl, and I see me holding her, but I can't see why. And how could it ever be that someone would feel close to me? I can't imagine. It's depressing to think about. I'm destined to be alone, unless I get exceptionally lucky. And remember what I've said before about emotional reactions to unpredictable futures. What a fucking Catch 22.
I need something to get my mind off my life. A game, a book, a sport, whatever. As long as there's no room for me to think about my situation. So terrible, but that's all that's left in my memories of how it used to be. And it used to be acceptable.
So, what's wrong with twice as many choices? That's four times as likely to fuck up. Let me get all crazy and confusing here for a second. One is tangible, but the other is only a hint and whisper. I'd rather take the hinted whisper, but that means sacrificing the tangible forever this time. But then right there I've just said that taking one would be settling, because I'd prefer the faint whisper. How bad would I feel if I gave up one and then lost the other? I'll tell you. I hate going 0 for 2. But that's what it sounds like. Again.
Anyways, sometimes life sucks. The memories are horrid now. Such shit. I can't think about anyone else, though. The closeness I felt, I can't imagine feeling it again. I look at a girl, and I see me holding her, but I can't see why. And how could it ever be that someone would feel close to me? I can't imagine. It's depressing to think about. I'm destined to be alone, unless I get exceptionally lucky. And remember what I've said before about emotional reactions to unpredictable futures. What a fucking Catch 22.
I need something to get my mind off my life. A game, a book, a sport, whatever. As long as there's no room for me to think about my situation. So terrible, but that's all that's left in my memories of how it used to be. And it used to be acceptable.
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You are going to find someone some day who loves you better, and in different ways than she did. That's not to say that she's not an amazing girl, and that you might always love her in a certain way, but this girl is going to better in different ways - ways that maybe you don't even know she could be. She's going to come into your life and you're going to understand why it never worked out with any other of the stupid girls.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was talking to you about the guy I liked back in November and you told me, "he'll come around or someone better will." Exactly. You have no idea how much that helped me. She will come around, or someone better will.
You've read The Alchemist. You know that everything happens for a reason. I PROMISE you that this is for a reason, and that one day you're going to find a girl who treats you so amazing and loves you for the amazing person that you are. I promise. If I'm wrong, then you can come bitch slap me or something. =]